When I was a teenager, I used to lean into the bathroom mirror and stare into my own eyes.
Sometimes for a few minutes. Sometimes for almost an hour.<\/p>\n
I was searching\u2014for meaning, for clues, for some kind of answer to a question that haunts most of us at some point: Who am I?<\/strong><\/p>\n I never found an answer. Back then, I stared into my own eyes.<\/p>\n Now, I stare at my Facebook page. I study those images and quietly ask: I didn\u2019t know it at the time, but that mirror-staring thing I used to do? It has a name: mirror gazing. <\/strong>It\u2019s been around for centuries. Used in all kinds of ways\u2014psychology, shadow work, meditation, even divination. Sometimes it\u2019s about finding clarity. Sometimes it\u2019s about facing the parts of ourselves we usually avoid. There\u2019s even a phenomenon where if you stare long enough, your face starts to shift. They call it the \u201cstrange-face illusion.\u201d <\/strong>It\u2019s not magic, exactly\u2014but it feels<\/em> like it. Eyes soften. Edges blur. The person staring back might feel unfamiliar. Or eerily ancient. Back then, I didn\u2019t know I was doing anything spiritual. I just knew I couldn\u2019t not do it.<\/p>\n Now I spend more time staring at screens than mirrors. Curated images. Memories filtered through algorithms. I still catch myself searching, though. Still trying to spot some version of me<\/em> that feels real. <\/em>Something solid. Recognizable. The essence beneath all the shifting moods and masks\u2014Something I can hold onto, even as everything keeps changing. I think a lot of us are doing that\u2014digitally mirror-gazing. Scrolling not just to remember, but to recognize.<\/em><\/p>\n The mirror gave me stillness. Both are reflections. Both are riddles. And both, in their own way, ask me the same thing: Are you really seeing yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n If you\u2019ve never tried mirror gazing, I recommend it. Not for vanity. Not for critique. Just\u2026 to be with yourself. Light a candle. Sit in silence. Breathe. Look into your own eyes like you\u2019d look at someone you love\u2014even if you\u2019re still learning how. Maybe you won\u2019t find answers. But you might find presence. And sometimes, that\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Mirror Gazing, Digital Reflections, and the Search for Self) When I was a teenager, I used to lean into the bathroom mirror and stare into my own eyes.Sometimes for a few minutes. Sometimes for almost an hour. I was searching\u2014for meaning, for clues, for some kind of answer to a question that haunts most of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":493,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journals"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/greenEye.jpg?fit=220%2C162&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4XnUB-7I","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=478"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9051,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions\/9051"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
But I kept looking. I still do.<\/p>\n
I scroll through timelines and tagged photos, watching the digital version of me unfold.<\/p>\n
How did I get here?
Where did I come from?
What\u2019s the meaning of all this?<\/strong><\/p>\nThen & Now<\/h2>\n
The screen gives me movement.
And somewhere in all that motion\u2026 I catch glimpses of the real me.<\/p>\n