I’m not the kind of person that’s good at keeping things in. I can keep other people’s secrets, but I can’t keep my own. It’s a habit I picked up after coming out about being raped and it’s annoying as fuck. It’s not even like I have any secrets of consequence but it bothers the hell out of me that I can’t just keep my shit to myself sometimes. Generally if I feel something I have to express it, at least to a minor degree, or I feel like I will burst. I’ve been trying to practice keeping a few things to myself this year and it’s been very uncomfortable. I’ve had so many thoughts, ideas, and feelings this past year that I feel like I’m bursting at the seams.<\/p>\n
It just feels dishonest and wrong to hold back and keep things inside. Being open and honest about my life feels like a compulsion sometimes. It’s fine when it just involves me, but not always when others are involved. I can’t count how many times Karl has shaken his head at me for talking about what he considers private matters, such as our sex life or finances. But I can’t usually help myself. As a person, especially an artist, I am most interested in the human experience. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the public, and private. I’m especially interested in the bits people don’t talk about. I can’t stand the games people play when they’re trying to avoid telling the truth. Just say things. Just say what you truly think or feel. Stop wasting our precious time. I guess this is why I don’t like secrets since they are generally revealed with time. Keeping them just seems like a waste of energy.<\/p>\n
I’m not the kind of person that’s good at keeping things in. I can keep other people’s secrets, but I can’t keep my own. It’s a habit I picked up after coming out about being raped and it’s annoying as fuck. It’s not even like I have any secrets of consequence but it bothers the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4581,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journals"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/2010-01-08_071.jpg?fit=800%2C533&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4XnUB-secrets","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4582,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4580\/revisions\/4582"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolandkarl.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}