Pseudotumor Cerebri – Memory Difficulties

I’m feeling a bit sad today. I looked at my calendar and noticed several recent things I didn’t recall and it sort of triggered a little mini-wave of depression. My memory has gotten so bad that I feel almost completely clueless about what I’ve done on a day to day, and week to week, basis without looking back on my calendar. Just remembering stuff from yesterday is mostly a blur. I get so mad at myself when I forget to enter in my activities and other important notes because when I look back on blank calendar days I feel like they’re missing. Sometimes it really frightens me or makes me depressed. It’s surreal to depend so heavily on a journal of sorts to recall my life. Most missing days remain blank in my memory unless I’m lucky enough for someone to mention something I’ve forgotten. Sometimes I even play sleuth and piece days back together from receipts, messages, and things. If you notice me getting flustered if asked to commit to something on the spot it’s because I rely heavily on my calendar for planning as well. (Also, big thank you to all of you who laugh off me introducing you to someone for the 8th time, along with my other memory, and speech, blunders. You have no idea how embarrassing and upsetting it is for me so I really appreciate you being understanding.)

I really hope that my weak memory can be improved. I’m hoping it’s all related to Pseudotumor Cerebri (excess spinal fluid placing pressure on my brain). There’s no guarantee that weightloss helps, but I did notice a significant reduction in symptoms when I lost weight in 2013, and then an increase in symptoms when I put weight back on last year. I’m feeling a bit better physically just from eating a healthier diet over the last month. I’m hoping all the walking we do in Japan will pay off in a slightly smaller Carol by the time we come home. I’ve not been able to exercise this past month like I wanted, but hopefully my ankle will hold up in Japan so I can get to walking and doing Zoomba everyday once we return. As much as I love the movie The Notebook, I really don’t want to live it.

If you’re curious and would like to learn more, the Intracranial Hypertension Research Foundation site is a good place to start.