Grad School Update

I love it, but grad school is wearing me out and I cannot wait for this semester to be over with. I’m expecting next semester to be a little easier. I think this semester has been difficult because 1) I’ve been out of school five years, 2) It’s research heavy and the sheer amount of reading is overwhelming, and 3) I’m having to get used to an entirely new schedule which means I’m having to re-prioritize and cut other activities out of my life.

I’ve already witnessed the frustration of friends, family, and even my husband at how unavailable I am. Aside from prior commitments and some select special occassions I am only attending art and education related events. It’s really frustrating that some people don’t understand this and thus make me feel like they don’t support me in my grad school goals but I really don’t have time to worry about it. I miss my family, I miss my husband, and I miss having time for myself. Most days I feel pulled in so many directions I feel super confused and not present. I’ve taken up drinking wine a every so often when I really need help relaxing which is a good indicator of how stressed and overwhelmed I am since I normally only drink socially.

Overall Karl has been super supportive. I just have to remind him I don’t have time for things. He always wants me to go to the store with him, the drive thru, or watch things with him and I just don’t have the time. Yesterday he mentioned we should go see some movies and it made me cringe because I’ve told him I don’t have time so many times. We are going to make time to go see a movie next weekend, but just one. We had a heart to heart this weekend and have decided to try to have a consistent date night each week so that we are spending at least one day/night with one another since I’m checked out most of the time. We’re going to take turns planning Saturdays for each other. He’s up first so I’m looking forward to seeing what he comes up with. 🙂